


A long way to go

by bunnysworld



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-20 09:27:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnysworld/pseuds/bunnysworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur Pendragon was a successful soccer player until Arthur's body doesn't do what he wants anymore. He's given up. And has no idea why he goes to see this odd healer with the sticking out ears. </p><p>Spoilerish warnings at the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arthur looked around and sighed. What exactly was he doing here anyway? He was about to get up to leave when a shaggy looking young bloke came in. 

“Mr. Pendragon?”

Attempting to get up, Arthur nodded. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Why don’t you stay seated?” The other gestured towards the chair and the cane that leaned against it. 

Looking over some papers on a clip board, the other didn’t seem to acknowledge his existence for a while, before he looked up and smiled warmly. “So, Mr. Pendragon, why don’t you tell me exactly what happened?”

Arthur stared. For a moment he marveled at the blue eyes and the dimples that accompanied the smile. But then the question sunk in. What exactly happened? Didn’t that bloke watch TV? Read the papers? Listen to the radio? Everybody in England knew what exactly had happened, most of sports people across Europe knew, and there was a good chance that the soccer enthusiasts around the world knew that at the age of 29, Arthur Pendragon was a cripple. 

“Dr. Emrys,” he started.

“No doctor. Merlin, call me Merlin.”

“You don’t watch much footie, do you?”

He almost smirked at the surprised face. 

“No, I don’t see the sense in watching other people sweat.” 

“Well then…I was a soccer player. Won the Champions League with my team three years ago, wore the three lions jersey…” Arthur’s voice trailed off. It was still hard to talk about this. He was used to talking to the press, but this here was different. This bloke didn’t have a clue what had happened and needed the details.

“So this is a sports injury.” Dr. Emrys…Merlin nodded. 

“Kind of, yes.”

“Kind of?” Merlin made notes on his clip board.

“It was more…” Arthur didn’t want to remember that day. “…yes, a sports injury.”

“Most of everything in your knee was ripped and your leg was broken twice.” Merlin read from the notes. 

“Yes.” 

“And that was two years ago and you’re still having trouble with walking? Would you describe what happens when you try walking without this?” Merlin motioned to the cane.

“I can’t. I need this. My leg won’t support my weight.” Arthur frowned. Why didn’t this bloke just look at the knee and give him some meds and send him home like all the other doctors had? Then again, Morgana had said he wasn’t a doctor doctor. Just some kind of healer. One with magical hands, they said. 

“And you just…I don’t know…fall over when you try?”

The frown on Arthur’s face deepened. “I haven’t tried in a while,” he admitted. 

“How about…we try it then?” Merlin got up. “Walk over to the bench. Don’t worry, I’ll be with you.” He gave Arthur an encouraging nod.

Taking a deep breath, Arthur pushed himself up at the arm rests of the chair. He didn’t know what good this would do. His leg didn’t support him any more since the incident. He took a wobbly step and reached for the back of the chair. Three steps towards the bench, how was he supposed to do that without the cane that had become his constant companion? Sweat was building on his forehead before he even tried to take a step and his breath sped up a bit. And this Merlin guy didn’t do anything to help, he just leaned against the bench and waited. 

Arthur took another deep breath and tried to reach the bench with his outstretched arm, but it was too far away. No way could he make that distance. And no way would he collapse onto the floor in front of this man. He bit his lower lip and – letting go of the chair – took another step. Pain flared up in his knee, he gasped and before he could fall, Merlin was at his side, wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him over to the bench.

“Alright, let’s take a look at it. Could you pull the leg of your track pants up far enough?”

That Merlin didn’t comment on the failed attempt to walk without the cane worried Arthur. Was that a good or a bad sign? He tugged the fabric up to his thigh as Merlin just pulled his sneaker and sock off.

“Lie back and relax. I’m going to take a look at your knee first. You might feel some tingling or even some warmth. If it gets too uncomfortable, let me know, okay?”

Arthur nodded and prepared himself for the procedure. Usually in this situation, his knee was bent and turned and poked at and whatever and it all hurt. But Merlin didn’t do any of these things. He just traced the scars of the surgery with the tip of his finger, which – admittedly – tickled more than anything and then put his hands on his leg, just above and below his knee. And for a moment that simple touch felt so good, relieved the pain so much, that Arthur sighed and closed his eyes. Only to gasp and stare at Merlin when flaming heat was searing through his knee.

 

Merlin just nodded. And then slid his hands down Arthur’s calf to his ankle where he repeated the procedure and then went on to examine the foot for a short moment. “Alright, we’re done.” He handed Arthur his sock and shoe and gave him his cane. Then he went back to the seating area and made some notes on his clip board while Arthur got dressed again and came back over. 

“So?”

Looking up, Merlin smiled. “I can’t do miracles, Mr. Pendragon. But we can work on that.” He pointed to the knee with his pen. “I see potential for relief.”

Arthur had given up hoping that he’d ever be able to walk properly again. But relief sounded good. “It would be nice to cut back on the pain killers for once. Speaking of which…”

Laughing, Merlin shook his head. “You don’t need them. And I can’t prescribe them. I’m just a healer.”

“Thought so,” Arthur got up.

“I’ll see you again on Thursday, 2 pm.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. What made this bloke so sure he’d come back? But he felt himself nodding. “Thursday…2 pm.”


	2. Chapter 2

He didn’t know why he’d come back, but Arthur was there at 2 pm sharp. He limped into the room and sat down after greeting the healer. 

“How are you today?” Merlin smiled and took his seat opposite to Arthur. 

Arthur shrugged. For a day he’d thought his knee was already better, but last night he tripped over something he’d left lying around and didn’t have a very peaceful night. “Okay, I guess.”

“What happened since Tuesday?”

“Not much. Thought the knee was better, but I had a very rough night.” 

Merlin nodded. “What did you do during the day?”

“Nothing much. A light work-out, but the rest of the day…,” Arthur shrugged. What had he done? How was he spending his days? “Watched some TV, checked some emails, the usual.”

“So you do work out. What exactly do you do?”

Arthur was glad that Merlin didn’t nag about the sitting about, watching day-time TV. “Nothing spectacular, just some work with the weights.”

“How about the exercise bike?”

Throwing Merlin a long look, Arthur’s expression darkened. “Can’t, you know that.”

“I think you can.”

“Are you saying I don’t want to?” Arthur almost growled. “You saw that I can’t put my weight on my leg. My knee gives way. I don’t have the strength to even ride an exercise bike!”

Merlin just scribbled something on that annoying clip board. “Why don’t you tell me what really happened?”

“Oh, someone did a Google search on me….” Why did he ask when he already found all the info on the internet?

“I never Google my patients.” Merlin shook his head and then just waited.

“What makes you think that this was something else than a sports injury?”

“Arthur,” Merlin leaned back in his chair and Arthur wondered when he gave permission to switch from Mr. Pendragon to first name. 

“Arthur,” Merlin repeated, “there is nothing wrong with your knee. It’s been torn, it’s been broken, but the surgery went well and everything is back where it belongs. Might not be good enough for top level sports any more, but it sure is good enough to walk without crutches.”

Arthur reached for his cane. “Are you saying that it’s all in my head?” He’s heard that before, but nobody had been able to prove it or do something about it. 

“Your brain has the memory of the pain. And that it still hurts has more to do with your expectation for it to hurt than actual pain. “

“The pain is real,” Arthur insisted. He didn’t make it up. There was a reason he constantly was on pain killers. 

Merlin nodded. “Which pain?”

“What do you mean, which pain?”

“The one in your knee or the one in your heart?”

What the heck did the bloke mean by that? He hadn’t mentioned any trouble other than his knee. But looking at Merlin, there was something knowing, something old and wise in his eyes and Arthur sighed. “Probably both…” He swallowed hard. Arthur had never admitted this to anyone, but the memory of it all was still fresh after two years.

Merlin just waited for him to continue, but when Arthur didn’t say anything more, he got up. “Why don’t we do something about the pain in the knee, then?” He helped Arthur over to the bench again and repeated the procedure from two days before. 

Arthur was prepared for the flaming heat and just tried to relax. If this Merlin bloke was able to take the pain away for only a few hours, it was worth coming here. And the gentle touches of the long fingers felt good, too.

When they were done, Merlin handed Arthur a little leather-bound book. “I want you to note a few things down for me.”

“A diary?” Arthur was about to laugh. “I’m not a girl.”

“I know you aren’t,” Merlin smiled, “I just want to get a better idea of the way you spend your days. It’s important to work out a little training plan for you. Note everything down that you do, that you eat, the meds you take. And if you feel like writing down a thought or two, do that. Anything and everything can help.”

Arthur looked at the book and then eyed Merlin skeptically.

“Just do the both of us a favor. Be honest. There’s no use of noting down ‘I had a salad with my tofu’ when you washed down your burger with a bourbon and then popped in some pain killers.” 

Making a face at the mentioning of ‘tofu’, Arthur still stared at the book. Then he nodded. If that was what it took to get rid of the pain, he could do it.


	3. Chapter 3

Why the fuck had he come back again? After the last treatment, Arthur had felt better for almost a whole day before the pain was back. And then he had stared at the stupid book for hours, the empty pages ridiculing him. What was he supposed to write? In the end he just noted down what he had for dinner – a pizza – and that he had watched some TV. And now this Merlin person didn’t even ask for it? 

“Did you have a nice weekend?”

“Why? Did you?”

“Oh yes, thanks for asking. What did you do?” Merlin just smiled and looked at him.

“Nothing.” It was the truth. It had been one of these endless weekends with nothing on TV that was worth being watched and his knee had hurt and…yeah, a wonderful weekend all over. 

“No going out? No clubbing? Not even the movies? Meeting friends for dinner?” 

Arthur shook his head. “None of the above.”

“Why not?”

His eyebrow shot up. Arthur couldn’t believe this bloke. “My knee?” How long would it take that man to get it into the thick skull of his that the injury had been the end of his life? 

“You need your knee to see a movie? And to eat?”

Arthur huffed. 

“How about your friends? Any calls?”

Leaning back, Arthur closed his eyes. “I don’t have any friends left.”

“Since…”

“Since the incident.”

When Merlin didn’t say anything, Arthur thought back to the days when his injury was still fresh. They’d all been there. But after a while, they stopped visiting, stopped calling. They all wanted to be his friend when he was active, when he made lots of money. When he was broken, they didn’t care about him anymore. And what was the use in clubbing when you couldn’t dance? When everyone just threw you sympathetic looks. Then again, he hadn’t been clubbing since it happened. It’d be too painful to watch all those couples around him. 

“You know…” Arthur took a deep breath, “what good is clubbing when you’re not with someone?”

“Maybe to meet someone new?” Merlin tapped the end of his pen to his lips repeatedly. 

“Who’d want me? The crippled ex-footballer?”

“That’s all you see when you look into the mirror? The crippled ex-footballer?”

“Yeah, what else is there to me?” Arthur sighed.

“It would be great if you saw the booze- and pills-addict, too. The bloke who feels so good in his self-pity that he doesn’t care that all his friends can’t stand it anymore and stopped calling? The person who neglects all his other talents to cry over spilled milk? The guy who pushes everybody away so he can feel all lonely and forgotten by the world?” 

Even though there was an amused tone in Merlin’s voice, the words stung. “I’m no junkie!” If his knee didn’t hurt so bad, Arthur would have jumped up. “And what other talents do I have? I was a great football player! And why should I push people away? They just…stop coming to me!”

Merlin just smiled. “If that’s so…Why don’t you start cutting back on the pain killers?”

“Because my knee hurts too bad if I stop taking them?” Boy, that bloke was dense!

“Does it stop hurting when you take them?”

Arthur pondered for a moment. No… “Not really.”

Merlin shrugged. “Then you could do without them. Have you tried acupressure before?”

“Nobody sticks needles in me.” A stubborn pout showed on Arthur’s face.

“That’d be acupuncture, acupressure is just pressing the right points. Let me show you.” 

Merlin got up and came over, reaching for Arthur’s hand. He pressed a few spots and Arthur gasped when he felt this in other parts of his body. 

“Come on over, lie down.” Merlin smiled.

Arthur didn’t know why he did as told. He was fuming. Who did that ear-bloke think he was that he could accuse him of all of these things? He lay down with a deep frown on his face, but closed his eyes. If this person would only take the pain from his knee for another day, it was at least worth coming here. 

Pressing some spots at Arthur’s ears and then in his face, Merlin made an approving sound, but didn’t comment on it. 

“We’re done for today.”

Arthur sat up. “You didn’t treat my knee.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t do that thing with your hands on my knee.”

“I still treated it, though.” Merlin gave an encouraging nod. “See you on Thursday. And… Write a bit more in that book, okay?”

When Arthur grabbed his cane and limped out of the practice, he swore under his breath. He’d never go back to this place again.


	4. Chapter 4

As much as he hated to admit it, over the next couple of days, his knee felt better and Arthur could cut back on the pain killers. He didn’t really need them, he could stop taking them any time. It just felt good to have the little tube in his pocket at all times – just in case. 

And it felt good not being in pain all the time. As much as he hated this Merlin-person at the moment, the little things he did seemed to help. So Arthur did a little online research on acupressure and found out that Merlin had pressed all the spots that were supposed to help with addictions. 

He was no freaking junkie! First he threw the mouse across the room and a little later, an innocent pen that was just lying around followed. How did Merlin dare to call him that and have the nerve to treat him for that!

He’d prove to him that he wasn’t! It was easy! He’d just note down the name of the pain killers in this stupid book and each time he really couldn’t do without, he’d put a little mark behind the name. This way Merlin would see that he wasn’t taking too many pills! And he could just as well do that with the alcohol. Nobody called him an addict!

A day later, the book looked pretty bad. It seemed like all he ever fed on was alcohol and meds. So he noted down some of the stuff he remembered he had for lunch, too. And that Chinese food he’d called for counted, too, right? 

The day before his next appointment, he’d reduced the intake of medicine by two and he’d had at least three beers less than the day before. Didn’t look half bad, did it? 

But yet again, Merlin didn’t ask for the book.

“You look better today,” was all he said in greeting. 

“Yeah,” Arthur wasn’t sure what to answer to that. He felt a bit better, but he’d long ago stopped checking his looks in the mirror. Most days he just couldn’t stand looking himself in the eye. 

“Anything special since Monday?”

Arthur shook his head. “Just the usual.”

“Okay.” Merlin waited.

“Been thinking.”

Just an encouraging sound.

“I noted down what I ate. And what I did.”

“Good.”

“You wanna see it?”

“Not yet.” That annoying little smile was back on Merlin’s face. “How’s the knee?”

Arthur shrugged. “Bit better for a while…and then it’s all back to normal.”

“What if you tried to see the ‘bit better’ as normal?” Merlin tilted his head. 

“Because it is not normal. It’s just temporary. And then it goes back to its usual state.” 

“But usual is not normal, is it?”

Arthur thought about it. “Maybe. I just wish it would go back to what it was like before they kicked it apart.”

“They?” Merlin didn’t look up from his ever-present clip board.

“Yeah. They. The blokes who ruined it.”

“So there were others involved. It wasn’t just an injury like…I don’t know…you were running and then suddenly you weren’t?” Merlin sounded all casual.

Arthur bit his lower lip. He always forgot that he talked to the last person on earth who hadn’t heard of the incident. And now he’d probably already said too much. “No, it wasn’t an injury like that. It was more… Three football boots on my leg. One on the knee, two above and below it.”

“Ouch.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Must be a pretty violent sport, this soccer, when accidents like that happen.”

Arthur sighed. “It wasn’t an accident.” With some kind of grim satisfaction he saw Merlin’s head shooting up and a surprised look on his face.

“You’re telling me… That they did it on purpose?”

“They did.” Arthur nodded.

“But why?”

“Doesn’t matter. They just did.”

For a long time, neither of them said anything before Merlin put his hands on Arthur’s knee and Arthur felt the now familiar heat running through it. But that tingle that shot through his body was new. 

When he left, he didn’t know if he felt better or worse. His knee was a lot better, but he felt like he’d revealed too much.


	5. Chapter 5

Nursing another bottle of beer, Arthur sat on his couch in the dark. He hadn’t even noticed that the sun had set, too wrapped up in his thinking. What if Merlin was right? What if he should start to see the pain not as the normal state but as the usual that he should try to fight? Then again, it was so normal that everything else was unusual. And what did this bloke know anyway? Who was he, but a tall, gangly, wiry guy with the thickest black hair Arthur had ever seen, a smile that could light up a room and hands so gentle that just thinking of them made Arthur shiver?

But no, he couldn’t allow thoughts like this. This was how this all had started. Never again would he allow feelings. They only brought him into the situation he was in now. 

And why should he go back to the healer? What had he done so far? Asked a lot of stupid questions, accused him of things that weren’t true and only brought temporary relief. Arthur popped in another pain killer and washed it down with the beer and a little while later, he took another one, just for good measure. Maybe he would be able to sleep for more than two hours this way?

When he was rudely woken by a hand roughly shaking his shoulder, Arthur’s mind waded through thick fog… Or more like… Wet cotton balls. He groaned and closed his eyes again quickly. Too much light. And Morgana… Talking to him, but he didn’t hear the words. Why didn’t she just go away? He’d had such a nice dream about himself being able to walk, able to play soccer again. And there was a nice young bloke, smiling at him, with a million dollar smile and… Arthur blinked again when he felt a hand on his forehead and saw the guy from his dream in front of him, but instead of the smile, a concerned frown on his face. 

“Arthur… Arthur, do you hear me? How many of these did you take?” 

An empty vial of his pain killers was held into his field of vision. He didn’t know how many he’d taken. Enough to let him sleep and have pleasant dreams. 

“We need to keep him awake!” Darn, the annoying voice of his sister. 

“’m awake,” he croaked out, his throat feeling sore and there was a taste in his mouth like something crawled in and decided to die there. 

“Stay with us.”

“Merlin, do something!” Why couldn’t Morgana just leave?

Arthur still felt Merlin’s hand on his forehead and the other one on his stomach and then there was this tingling through his body again. After a while he opened his eyes again, feeling a lot better already. He tried to sit up. “What happened?”

Merlin was on his knees in front of the couch, his eyes closed, a concentrated look on his face, his hands still holding Arthur down. That bloke was surprisingly strong for someone so gangly. 

“What happened?” Morgana almost shrieked. “You almost died, you idiot!”

“Didn’t,” he replied weakly. “I just wanted to sleep.”

“You wanted to sleep forever? “

That didn’t sound like the worst thing ever. 

When Merlin opened his eyes and took his hands away, Arthur tried to sit up. But that wasn’t as easy as he’d thought, he still felt dizzy. 

“Don’t. Stay where you are.” Merlin got up and reached for the book that lay under the junk that had collected on Arthur’s coffee table in the past few days. He scanned the pages and then frowned. “And these are only the ones you remember taking?”

Now Arthur frowned. “I noted everything down.”

“Doesn’t look like it.” Merlin turned the book and there were little drawings and circles on the pages, a half-finished sentence here, some words that were out of context there. 

Arthur sighed. Alright, he’d probably messed up big time. And there was nobody he could blame it on but himself and that fucking damn knee. Which he hadn’t felt in… He couldn’t remember. Even though he still felt sick, the tingling Merlin’s hands had produced in his body hadn’t stopped yet. And his knee didn’t hurt. 

“So you’re going to get me into the closed-off ward of some mental institution?” His tongue still felt like lead and that ugly taste hadn’t gone away either. 

“I should!” Morgana crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared. 

But Merlin shook his head. “That would do no good.” He looked around as if he saw the room for the first time. “This house sure has more than one guest room.”

“Five, to be exact,” Morgana rolled her eyes as if the need for five bedrooms was something alien. Then again, she was probably right. Nobody had visited him in a long time. 

Merlin got up. “Then it is settled. I’ll take one of them until the worst is over.”

Arthur was about to protest. He wasn’t a sick kid that someone had to watch over. So he’d taken a pain killer too much, this could happen, right? He’d woken up sooner or later on his own. Without the help of his sister and the healer who planned to make camp in one of his guest rooms!

“Thank you, Merlin.” Oh, now Morgana had pulled out her sweet-voice. “This is more than I could ever ask for.” 

Merlin just nodded, gave Morgana instructions for the next hour and left.

“Is he gone?” Arthur closed his eyes, it was still too bright in this room.

“To get the stuff he needs for the next couple of days.”

“I don’t want him here.”

“Oh yes, you do.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

“If I ever saw anyone in dire need of a babysitter, it was you, dearest brother of mine. You should be happy and thankful that he brought you back from the dead. That his magic pulled you out of this.” Morgana tried to keep calm, but her voice was vibrating with anger. 

Arthur snorted. “Magic, yeah, right. Only you believe in such crap.”

“Yes, Arthur, I happen to believe in it. And I’ve seen him work, he’s doing magic.”

“He works with acupressure and other stuff that stimulates some nerve ends in the body. That’s more traditional Chinese medicine than magic.” Every time Merlin had tried something new, Arthur had done the online research about it later. 

“Call it what you want, as long as it works!”

They spent the rest of the time until Merlin’s return in silence, Morgana sitting in an armchair, her foot nervously tapping, Arthur on the couch, still enjoying that tingling feeling, his eyes closed. 

))))))))))))

Arthur woke up hours later. How many, he didn’t know. But it seemed he had slept through the night as it was dawning already. His head was pounding and he felt awful. When he tried to sit up, the world around him was spinning and he felt sick. He groaned and sat up anyway, immediately reaching for his cane. He needed to pee, no matter if the earth around him tried to move. 

He startled when he noticed the sleeping man in the armchair. Oh, right, Merlin had infiltrated his house. But he had one of the guest rooms, Arthur was sure Morgana made sure of that, why did he sleep in one of the arm chairs?

Making his way over to the bathroom – had that always been so far away from the living room? – Arthur knocked a few things over and had to brace himself against a wall or two on the way. When he finally reached the bathroom, he needed to sit down. But he miscalculated the distance and sat down…next to the toilet, hitting the back of his head against the tub in the process. He groaned.

Next thing he knew was Merlin being at his side, checking his pulse, feeling the back of his head and that tingly feeling was back. 

But he still felt sick. “Gotta…”

Merlin seemed to understand and lifted the lid of the toilet just in time for Arthur to throw up. After a while he just heaved, nothing else in his stomach that would want to leave him this way, so he sank back against the tub, closing his eyes until the room once again stopped spinning. 

“Better now?”

“Kind of. Still need to pee.”

“Go ahead.”

Feeling too wobbly to care if someone was watching, Arthur let Merlin help him sit and then just did what he came here to do. 

When he was done, Merlin helped him up, steered him over to the sink and made him wash his hands. And brush his teeth. When Arthur caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he stared for a moment. Fuck. How low had he sunk? 

He splashed his face with water and let Merlin dry it with a towel. He was no kid who needed help with it, but he couldn’t muster the energy to protest. He’d do that later. 

Arthur even let Merlin help him back to the couch and didn’t protest against the hands that were back on him, making his whole body tingle. 

“Sleep now,” was the last thing he heard before he sank back into slumber.


	6. Chapter 6

Arthur had lost all feeling for time. Sometimes he seemed to be awake, or rather less asleep, and heard hushed voices talking but couldn’t make out who they belonged to. Then there was nothing but darkness and then he started to sweat when his body demanded more painkillers. He didn’t know when he’d taken the last ones. And where they were. They must have fallen out of his pocket when he’d been to the bathroom. But the bathroom was light years away, no way he’d be able to go there again if he couldn’t control the violent shivers that had taken over his body. 

Once in a while he felt those long slender fingers on him and relaxed, almost smiling at the now familiar tingly feeling that took over. His breathing evened out, the shivers stopped and he had nice dreams of a life without pills, one with a partner at his side who loved him and who he could love back. 

He woke up when he felt a cool cloth on his forehead. When he blinked his eyes open, he saw Merlin smiling down on him.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

There was that smile again, the one that Arthur couldn’t help but return, it was contagious. “Good. How about some tea?”

When Arthur was done with the tea, Merlin convinced him that at least a shower was in order and Arthur didn’t disagree. He was past the stage where he noticed it himself, so he must stink pretty badly. He still felt weak, but made his way to the bathroom and assured Merlin he could do this on his own and would call if he needed help. 

When he came back from the bathroom, feeling a lot better already, he limped back into the living room – how he made it to the bathroom without his cane, that was still lying there like he’d dropped it when he fell before, was a mystery to him – and found his blankets on the couch gone. 

“I’m out here!” Merlin yelled from the patio. 

“I’d rather stay in here.”

“Nonsense. All that time on the couch is enough. Get your butt out here and enjoy a bit of fresh air and sun.” Merlin peeked his head in. “What are you waiting for?”

Arthur sighed as he made his way over. Was this the moment where Merlin would preach about the overuse of intoxicants? Where he told him that it had been a close call and probably even had to thank Morgana for finding him? That he was an idiot to throw everything he had away?

But Merlin did no such thing, only pointed to the deck chair and poured them some more tea. 

When Arthur was seated, he reached for the tea. “How long have I been out?”

“A week and some.”

A whole week. He’d lost a whole week! “Fuck.”

“Yeah, you could have used that a bit better.” Merlin smiled. 

Arthur nodded. A whole week. And he only remembered that one trip to the bathroom. Oh gosh, his healer had seen him throw up and… and… even when he’d been to the loo! A slight pink showed on his face. “What else did I do?”

“What else other than…what?”

“I remember a trip to the bathroom.”

Merlin chuckled. “There have been a few of those.”

Groaning, Arthur let his head fall back. “Anything worse?” He didn’t dare looking at Merlin. 

“Let’s just say, I don’t think those were the prettiest of your times.”

“Fuck.”

Merlin just made a sound and sipped his tea. 

“I feel I should apologize for…whatever I’ve done.” He wasn’t big on apologies, but it was the least he could do, right?

“Don’t worry, I’ve seen worse.”

They sat in silence, listening to the birds singing in the trees. Once in a while a bumblebee buzzed by but nothing else disturbed the peaceful scenery. Arthur was deep in thoughts. He had to face the fact that he was an addict. Nothing but a junkie. And he had taken one pill too many. But since then, since Morgana had found him, he hadn’t taken any, had he? How had he made it through this whole week without them? 

“Where are…” He took a deep breath. “What happened to my painkillers?”

Merlin looked at him. “Gone.”

Arthur nodded. “Good.” He wasn’t sure if it was. What if his knee acted up again? What would he do? How would he cope without them? But then he felt a little tingle in his knee and somehow knew he could do without them. “I suppose you found all my supplies?”

“I’d think so, yes.” Merlin nodded and then started to count on his fingers. “The ones in the bathroom cabinet, the ones in your nightstand, the ones by your computer. The ones that were behind your t-shirts in your closet and even the ones hidden in the cookie jar in the kitchen. Did I overlook anything?”

“No, that was all.” Fuck. He thought he’d store the little vials everywhere so he could reach them when he really needed them. But the way Merlin listed all the places sounded more like he hid his drugs away. “I’m so screwed.”

“Because we destroyed your drugs? I don’t think so. You never needed them anyway.”

“I’m really low, ain’t I?”

Merlin shook his head. “See it as a chance to rise from the ashes.”

Arthur sighed and rubbed his temples. How could this bloke be so damn positive all the time? “Like what? Go back on the soccer field and let them ruin my other leg, too? Just because they hate the fact that I’m gay?” He hadn’t meant to say it. He never meant to talk about it again. But now it was out in the open. Then again, the whole world knew about it already.

“They attacked you because of your sexual orientation?” To Arthur’s surprise Merlin’s voice stayed all calm. 

“Stop giving me the crap about not Googling your patients. You know exactly what happened and why.” Arthur knew he shouldn’t snap at Merlin. Even though he was paid for it, Merlin had been the only person who had been willing to stay with him in his darkest hours. 

“I did neither. I do not Google my patients and I still don’t know more than what you have told me already. Sooner or later you will be ready to talk about it. And I’ll be here to listen.” 

Looking at Merlin’s face, Arthur could see nothing false. He probably really did as he said. Or rather…did not. He slumped back again and closed his eyes. For a long time, he said nothing. 

“His name was Marty. He was a bit younger than me, not too tall, blond like me, beautiful brown eyes,” Arthur smiled at the memory. “We met at the supermarket. At the supermarket of all places! It was like in the movies. We both reached for the same water melon.” He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “We went for a coffee. And the rest, as they say, is history.” 

Merlin didn’t comment. 

“I was so happy that I could have yelled it out to the world. Of course I couldn’t. I was Captain of the English Team. In a sport that doesn’t always allow people to be who they are. You have to be the prototype of the male warrior. And real men don’t love men, right?” He laughed bitterly. “At first, it wasn’t a problem. I was the big soccer star outside and at home, my lover was waiting for me.” 

Sipping his tea, he took another deep breath. It still hurt to talk about this part of his life. When he had to hide himself away and be someone else as soon as he left his own home. 

“And then Marty didn’t want to be the dirty secret any longer. Everything went downhill from there.” Swallowing hard against the tears that threatened to well up, Arthur went silent again.

Merlin just refilled Arthur’s mug again and said nothing. Which Arthur appreciated, he didn’t need anyone to judge him. He’d had enough of being judged by others. And he liked the calm way Merlin just moved around with the tea and then just sat in his chair, folding a leg underneath himself. He didn’t urge him to go on, didn’t ask for details. 

“We fought when we were out. And that scene didn’t go unnoticed by the press. And the next morning, all of England knew that their hero soccer champion is a sissy fudgepacker.” 

After a moment, Merlin asked softly “Is that how you see yourself?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does.” Merlin took a sip of his tea. “You seem to be trying to juggle those two images the outside world has of you. But what about you? What do you see yourself as?”

Arthur thought about that for a while. “I’m just me. I always was that way. I like blokes.” He shrugged. “And I like football. But the two don’t seem to match.”

“Why not?”

Throwing Merlin a quick look, Arthur continued. “Because it’s all guys. And all of a sudden they were so afraid that I’d look at their bits and their arses. Which they never were bothered about before. They even boasted about their peckers. Showed them off.”

“And you looked?”

“No. Do you look at every woman just because she’s a woman?”

Merlin smiled. “I don’t look at women, no.”

“See. I didn’t look before, I was never interested in any of them. And of course I didn’t look after they outed me. And the people I called colleagues… and friends… they couldn’t handle the situation. Homophobic idiots.” He leaned back and closed his eyes, but he couldn’t help the tear escaping. He didn’t bother wiping it away. 

“First it was only small things. Nasty little remarks. My locker broken into and personal stuff destroyed. Porn pics stuck to it. Then they attacked my car. Sprayed stuff on it. Cracked the windshield. By that time, Marty was gone. We’d tried to patch everything back together after that night. But he couldn’t stand the attacks. People called him names when he left the house. They sent hate mail. The whole scope.” 

Merlin handed a tissue over. Arthur took it to blow his nose. He was not crying! He wouldn’t cry about this anymore! It was probably just… oh well. 

“And it wasn’t only my own team. It was from players of other teams, too. So… that day… the game against Chelsea… they teamed up against me. To “rid the field of any fairies”. Managed to let it look like a foul with an unfortunate outcome. When in fact they had it planned long before. Tore my knee apart, broke my leg, ended my career. “ Arthur’s jaw was so tight that it hurt. “And my life.”

It still fucking hurt to think about it. People he’d called friends, people he’d shared defeats and victories with, turned against him. Just because he didn’t fit into their view of the world. It didn’t matter how good he was, how many goals he scored, how he was able to motivate the team. They took his body apart to get rid of him. 

He sniffed once more and then raised his head to look at Merlin, who just nodded. But somehow Arthur was grateful that he didn’t say “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Or “This is awful.” Or any other similar crap. 

“And before you ask, no, they didn’t get punished for that. The sports court decided it had just been a foul that had gotten out of hand. They got benched for a few games, but that was it. Nobody wanted to know that this was a hate crime.” 

Merlin drew a sharp breath. 

“No comment? No witty remark? No motivational speech?” This wasn’t Merlin at all. Usually he took the bad thing and turned it around, made something good out of it and turned that against him. 

“Thank you for sharing this with me, Arthur.”

They sat in silence until it got too cold.


	7. Chapter 7

The next couple of days were rather uneventful. Arthur slept a lot, but felt a bit better each day and Merlin made him work out a bit, treated his knee and sometimes they talked. 

In the beginning, Arthur wasn’t sure it had been the right thing to tell Merlin everything. But it had felt good to talk to someone who didn’t smother him with sympathy or made stupid remarks. He had just listened. And that felt good. 

And the things he did to his knee were wonderful. When the effects of the drugs had worn off, it had hurt like hell. But each time, Merlin touched it, that tingly feeling made it feel good. Arthur didn’t know what Merlin did, but whatever it was, it was good for him. 

They sat outside in the evenings, sometimes just enjoying a cocktail – Merlin was good at mixing non-alcoholic ones – in silence, sometimes they talked. Arthur noticed that all these weeks, he’d been the only one talking and that he knew nothing about Merlin. But he wanted to know. So he asked careful questions and found out that Merlin indeed was a doctor, but not in medicine but literature. He’d never did anything with that title but travelled the world for a while, learning new techniques of healing from all kinds of cultures. 

“How do you do that?”

“How do I do what?” Merlin reached for one of the snacks he’d made before and smiled at Arthur.

Damn, that smile was nice. “How do you do that tingly thing with my knee?”

The smile widened. “Is that was it feels like for you?”

Arthur nodded. “Yeah, but it’s not like you have to scratch, it doesn’t tickle. It’s… It feels nice.”

“Good.”

“You’re not telling me how you do it?”

“Would you believe me?” 

“Try me.” Arthur wondered what odd stuff Merlin would dish up now.

“It’s the gift Mother Nature gave me. Some call it magic.” 

Arthur nearly choked on his drink. “Magic. You gotta be kidding!”

“I just call it gift. But no, I’m not kidding.” Merlin grinned and stuffed his face with more of the cream cheese crackers.

Chuckling, Arthur sipped his drink. “Whatever. Then don’t tell me. As long as it helps, fine by me!”

He missed that Merlin slightly shook his head, an amused smile on his face.


	8. Chapter 8

Merlin became the closest thing to a friend that Arthur had in a long time. He noticed that he liked having him around, he was a pleasant house guest. Once in a while he left to tend to other patients, but he was always back in the evening.

Some nights, they even cooked together. Or rather… Merlin cooked and assigned Arthur to chopping duties and such. But Arthur noticed that he learned a lot about healthy food and how to make it taste good anyway.

Of course there were nights where he rather had a glass of wine with the food or even a beer, but one look at Merlin’s face, which wasn’t even reproachful or sympathetic, and he reached for a coke or some water.

Merlin had started to treat the rest of Arthur’s body, too. Years of walking on a cane showed in the muscles in Arthur’s back and shoulders. First he’d just treated his hand, massaging tight muscles, pressing a few spots, making it relax. Then he moved onto his shoulders and that one night, he’d made Arthur take off his shirt and lie down on his front.

Arthur waited for a massage, which sure would hurt, his shoulders were so tight. But then Merlin’s fingertips almost tickled as they gently slid down left and right of his spine. It felt as if vertebrae popped back into place and Arthur grunted, but after a while it just felt good, the tingly thing Merlin usually did on his knee cursing through his body, shooting straight to his cock.

“We’re done,” Merlin announced soon after. “You can get up now.”

“Err…,” Arthur felt the blush on his cheeks. Damn, this was the first time in years that he grew a boner when someone else touched him. But did that have to happen here and now? “I’ll… I’ll take a moment.”

He didn’t see the grin on Merlin’s face. “Take all the time you need. I’ll start dinner.”

They sat outside in silence after dinner, the couch – Arthur’s nest for years – almost forgotten.

Arthur didn’t know why, but he felt like telling Merlin a few more things. “You know… Marty…”

For the first time, Merlin didn’t wait for more. “Tell me more about him. Have you heard of him since?”

“No.” Arthur shook his head. “I thought… I thought it was something to last. We tried, we really did. But he left for good. Even changed his phone number.”

“You tried to find him?”

“Not really find… But it would have been nice if we could have stayed friends.”

“Did you love him?”

Arthur worried his lower lip for a moment. “I thought so.”

Merlin leaned back and sipped his lemonade. “And you never tried to find someone new?”

“No. I guess I was too busy with myself.”

“Not even for… You know… Just a one night stand?”

Arthur laughed bitterly. “Nah, never thought they were worth it. If I felt the need, my hands were good enough, which is probably too much information.”

Chuckling, Merlin shook his head. “I saw you puke and wiped your butt and you think this is too much information?”

Only two weeks ago, Arthur would have thought that this was awkward. But now he was so comfortable around the bloke he didn’t know much of that he just chuckled, too. “True.”

“Maybe you should start going out? Not to find your true love, but as practice? To learn how to interact with people again?”

“Going out alone?” Arthur basically hadn’t left the house in two years. The thought of going out, to a place with lots of people, where he was supposed to talk to them… He didn’t want to admit it, but it scared him. 

“Call someone? One of your old friends? Go out for dinner.”

“Can’t. They stopped calling. Why would they want to go out for dinner?”

“Why did they stop calling?”

Arthur had all the answers about how they didn’t want to be his friends any more when he was injured and didn’t make tons of money any longer. But over the past weeks he’d come to see that it was his own fault. He’d driven them away. He never called them, but expected them to call. And he hadn’t always been friendly when they did. He couldn’t blame them. 

“Cause I’m a jerk.”

Merlin smirked. “Good start.” He leaned back and said nothing more.


	9. Chapter 9

Some nights, his knee hurt. It hurt so bad that he got up and tried to walk around, ending up on the couch again and again, tears in his eyes, thinking he couldn’t do without pain killers. 

It usually didn’t take Merlin long to appear and to do his little tingly-trick and Arthur could go back to bed. Actually, the knee got better the moment Merlin entered the room. 

And the sleepy look on the other man’s face, the hair sticking out in every direction, the shabby sweatpants and the wide t-shirts… Arthur really liked that. That and that wonderful wide smile, the twinkling blue eyes and those challenging looks he threw him when they were cooking or playing cards. 

In the mornings, Arthur woke up from pleasant dreams, all of them featuring Merlin, and had to take care of the erection that came with the dreams. 

So he did the only thing that came to his mind.

“Go out with me.” He said it before he could even think about it. It probably wasn’t a good idea, but he really liked spending time with Merlin and he wanted to get to know him better. Then again, Merlin had never mentioned a boyfriend, so how could he assume that Merlin liked blokes? On the other hand, he’d never mentioned a girlfriend either, so maybe…

Merlin nodded. “Yes, we’re going out today, get dressed.” 

Arthur blinked. Hadn’t Merlin heard him? Or was he ignoring what he’d said on purpose? “Where are we going?”

“It’s about time that we get you out of the house and into something useful. You’re just wasting your days.”

Still standing rooted to the spot, leaned on his cane, Arthur blinked again. “What are we going to do?”

“You’ll see,” Merlin smiled, “now get ready.”

As much as Arthur nagged, Merlin just drove them and didn’t answer. He stopped in front of a group of small buildings. “We’re here.”

Arthur got out of the car and looked around. There were some children playing on a playground. What was this? A school? What was he supposed to do here?

A tall bloke came out of what seemed to be the main building. “Merlin!”

“Hi Percy, good to see you again!” 

Arthur watched as they shook hands and patted shoulders, beaming widely.

The tall one turned and smiled. “And you must be Arthur.” He extended a hand, which Arthur automatically took. 

“Yes.”

Merlin introduced them and then made his way into the building, animatedly talking to Percy, leaving Arthur to follow them. He still wasn’t sure where he was and what was expected of him. 

There were kids everywhere. Kids of all ages. From very small ones, just above toddler-age to teenagers. This was no school, was it?

“What is this place?” He whispered to Merlin. “An orphanage?”

Percy turned. “We’re not really an orphanage. We give children a home who couldn’t stay with their parents any longer. Most of them can go see their parents when they want to, but they live here.”

“Interesting concept.” Arthur had been to those places before. For charity reasons and because it looked good when the big-ass soccer player pretended to care for those who weren’t as lucky. But he’d never stayed longer than necessary. 

Merlin beamed. “Yes, it is. And you are needed here.”

“Me?” Arthur’s eyebrows shot up. “What good would I do here? I don’t know how to deal with children.”

“I’ve heard you had something to do with soccer, didn’t you?” The grin on Percy’s face showed that he knew exactly who he was dealing with.

“Had. Yes. Past tense.” Arthur’s shoulders got tight and he leaned heavily on his cane.

“Make it present tense again, Arthur. You know a thing or two about soccer and those kids need a coach.” Merlin looked at him expectantly. 

“Coaching? The kids? What league do they play in?”

“None,” Percy laughed. “But they need some exercise and they love soccer. They just need someone to watch over them, to challenge them to their abilities and to show them a trick or two they can be proud of.”

“What do you mean by ‘challenge them to their abilities’?” Arthur frowned. He didn’t like the turn this conversation was taking.

“Some of our kids have their own challenges. Little Gwaine over there,” Percy pointed to the far end of the room where a little boy tried to cut something from a larger paper, his little face scrunched up in concentration, “he lost part of his arm in an accident. But that doesn’t stop him. It’s more like we have to stop him once in a while. And over there,” he gestured to a larger boy, “that’s Leon. His drunken father stepped on his leg when he was about four. His knee is of no use any more.”

Immediately Arthur felt for the boy. “You’re not telling me that those boys play soccer?”

Merlin laughed. “Oh yes, they do. You should see them”

“Merlin! MEEEEEEEEEEEERLIN!” A little blonde girl rushed in and clung to Merlin’s leg.

“Hey Sophia.” Merlin picked her up and she kissed his cheek as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “How are you today?”

“I drew a picture earlier and now we played ball.” She enthusiastically told Merlin and then peeked at Arthur. “Who’s this?” she whispered to Merlin loud enough for the adults to hear. 

“That’s my friend Arthur. Arthur meet Sophia.”

Arthur smiled carefully at the girl who watched him with wide eyes and then turned back to Merlin. “He’s cute, you should keep him,” she told him in earnest, drawing chuckles from Percy and Merlin. Arthur gave a tormented smile. 

“He’s a friend. Not a friend-friend.” Merlin winked at Sophia and set her down again. “I think Trina wants to show you something.” He pointed to another girl, about Sophia’s age and she ran away. 

“Sophia’s our house-own match maker. At least she’s trying to be.” Percy still chuckled. 

“She’s not on the soccer team, is she?”

“Oh yes, she is, you should see her play. It’s adorable.”

Arthur wasn’t sure if ‘adorable’ was an adjective he ever heard connected to playing soccer. 

Merlin still grinned. “You’ll start on Monday.”

“I didn’t hear me agree to this yet.” Arthur really wasn’t sure he could do it. Yeah, these kids probably needed help. But what did he have to give them? 

“Nonsense. You’ll try and we’ll see how it goes. If they don’t like you, we can still try to find something else for you to do.” Merlin nodded. 

If they didn’t like him? Oh. Arthur hadn’t seen it from that perspective. Even though he knew that was just one of Merlin’s challenges, he’d make sure that those little rascals liked him!


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur’s ears were ringing. He’d spent the whole weekend planning a work-out for the children, reading up on what they could do at their age and how to make them have fun. He even got cookies for after the practice, but everything had gone downhill from the moment they were all out on the make-shift soccer field behind one of the houses. 

In the beginning, they all sat in the grass in front of him, looking at him with large eyes. But as soon as a ball was involved, they turned into animals. There was kicking and shoving, hair-pulling and that cute little angel Sophia even bit one of the older kids. And they constantly yelled for him. Arthur here, Arthur there. 

After an hour, Arthur dismissed them and slumped down on a bench. He couldn’t do this, he would go in and tell Percy and Merlin that that was it. 

When he looked up, he saw Leon standing a few feet away. 

“Does your leg hurt?” The boy tilted his head.

Arthur nodded. It wasn’t really true. All through his failed attempt of coaching, he didn’t even think of his leg which only meant that it couldn’t have hurt too badly. The slight pain had only come back after he’d send the kids off. 

“Mine hurts too, sometimes.”

“Does it hurt when you play soccer?” 

The boy nodded and his wild curls bopped around his head. “Sometimes. But I love playing too much, so I ignore it.” 

Arthur just looked at the boy and then got up, trying not to lean too heavily onto his cane. “Why don’t you run inside?” He smiled. “There are cookies waiting.”

The boy’s eyes lit up and he quickly made his way back to the building while Arthur looked after him. Maybe this coaching thing wasn’t so bad after all.


	11. Chapter 11

Even though he was afraid to go back there in the beginning, Arthur started enjoying his trips to the kids’ home. He divided the children into groups after he found out who could do what and tried to coach them as best as he could. The thought of making real soccer players, a real team, out of them was long forgotten. He just wanted them to have fun while learning a thing or two. 

After a few weeks, he grinned when he once again found some of the teenage girls standing by the field, giggling when he came out of the building. It was almost like in the old days, groupies at the practice field. But instead of enjoying the attention, Arthur now only shook his head in amusement. 

Some days, the smaller kids brought him pictures they’d drawn and he promised to put them on his refrigerator. Other times they told him about their day and what they’d done in school.

But the big topic today was the summer barbeque which should be held in two weeks. They all insisted he needed to be there, too. So after practice, he promised them that he would attend. 

He was in a good mood when he entered the house again, but nearly tripped over a bag in the entrance. 

“What the…?”

Merlin came from the living room. “Oh, you’re back. Good.”

“What’s this all about?”

“It’s time.”

Arthur frowned. “Time for what?”

“Me leaving.” Merlin smiled. “I said I’d only stay until I was sure you could do on your own. I see you are back on track. There’s no need for me staying at your house any longer.”

“But…” This couldn’t be! Merlin couldn’t leave! He needed him around! 

Patting Arthur’s shoulder, Merlin smiled wider. “I’m proud of you.”

Arthur jerked back. “You can’t leave! I need you!”

Merlin shook his head. “No, you don’t. At least not permanently. We will continue our sessions at my office, though. Twice a week, like when we started out, okay?”

“Not okay! You… I…” Arthur stared at Merlin and then blurted out, “I like you, you can’t leave!”

There was a little confused look on Merlin’s face before the smile was back. “I have to leave.”

“You don’t understand! I _like_ you!” Arthur was searching for words. How could he make Merlin see that he needed him. Not because of his knee. That, too, yes, but the first thing he thought of in the morning was Merlin and the last thought before having pleasant dreams about him was Merlin, too. He couldn’t just leave him behind!

“Arthur,” Merlin sighed heavily, “I guess I already stayed too long. You think you like me that way. Because we spend so much time together. You hardly have any other contacts. So you think you’ve developed feelings for me.” He shook his head. “It’s my fault, I should have left weeks ago.” 

“It’s nobody’s ‘fault’. All I can think about is you, Merlin. It’s not because I don’t see other people. It’s you.”

“No, Arthur, it’s not. You’re my patient. And I’d still love to see you at my office twice a week, so we can keep on working on that knee and on getting rid of that cane. Which you never needed. And just as you don’t need the cane, you don’t need me. I’m just another crutch. Which is okay, but you will learn to live without crutches.” He gave Arthur an encouraging smile, patted his shoulder and picked up his bag. “See you at the office on Thursday.”

000

Arthur felt numb. He had to sit down after Merlin had left the house, which immediately felt empty. As empty as Arthur felt. Of course he had known that Merlin would have to leave one day. But he didn’t think he was in any condition to be left alone. What if he just got up and found himself a bottle of whiskey? And drove down to the pharmacy and got pain killers? But somehow he didn’t feel like doing that. 

He was just… He didn’t really know what he was. Sad? Disappointed? Alone? Yes, he was sad. Maybe he should have told Merlin about his feelings before and he wouldn’t have left? But somehow he’d thought Merlin would notice on his own. He should have known that he was nothing more to Merlin than a patient. 

His head fell back against the back of the couch and he stared up at the ceiling. Why was everything always so complicated? 

Just as he thought his knee started hurting again, he felt that tingle and his fist hit the couch right next to him. Whatever Merlin had done with the knee, he couldn’t even be angry about it.


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur didn’t go back to the office. What good would it do? He could do without Merlin! If he didn’t want to be around him, he wouldn’t run after him. He didn’t cancel the appointments and he didn’t answer the phone when Merlin called. 

He called Percy to tell him he couldn’t coach any more. 

Percy just listened. The only thing he said was “The kids will be very disappointed.”

Two days later, he had a letter in the mail, the penmanship indicating that one of the children had written it, asking him to come back since it was so boring without him. And that they wanted him to come to their BBQ. It was signed by all of them. Those who couldn’t write yet had drawn something on the paper. 

Arthur swallowed hard. It wasn’t their fault that he’d fallen for Merlin. And it wasn’t their fault that Merlin didn’t return the feelings. But he’d just run into him if he went back there and that was something he didn’t need at the moment. 

On the day of the BBQ, Arthur felt even worse. He wanted to go so badly to apologize to the kids. He missed them, missed going there twice a week to coach them. 

He sat by the window and looked outside when his mobile rang.

“Pendragon?”

“Arthur? Hi, this is Leon.”

Oh. 

“Leon! Are you okay? Is there anything wrong?” Immediately he was worried. It was Saturday, the day where the kids could call their parents if they wanted. And Leon had chosen to call him. There must be something terribly wrong.

“Yeah, no. I… You know there’s the feast today, don’t you?”

Oh yes, he knew that. “Yes.”

“Could you come?”

Leon’s voice sounded so desperate and there was approving murmurs in the background, Arthur’s heart broke. How could he punish those kids for his own stupidity? 

“I…”

“Please?”

“Yeah…I’ll be there.”

“He says he’ll be here,” Leon said, away from the phone and whoever was there with him, broke out in yelling and howling. 

“See you later, Leon.”


	13. Chapter 13

Arthur looked at himself in the bottom-length mirror in his bedroom and scolded himself. What difference did it make if he showed in shorts and an old t-shirt or – like he was dressed now – neat jeans and a white linen shirt? The kids would drag him all over the place and they didn’t care what he was wearing anyway. So he just ran a hand through his hair and grabbed his cane and keys on the way to the car. 

The jerseys he had made for his soccer kids were still in the trunk. They’d been ready the day after Merlin left, along with the t-shirts he had for everybody else since it seemed a bit mean to only get stuff for those who were in his group. 

After he’d hung up with Leon, he’d made a call to his favorite bakery and now stopped there to pick up all the different breads, and cookies, and cakes he’d ordered. 

When he arrived at his destination, his car was immediately surrounded by the children. They all yelled and cheered and wanted a handshake or a hug and Arthur smiled widely even though he felt bad for letting them down for so long. 

He let them help carry the goodies inside, where he bumped into Percy, who just greeted him with a “Good to have you back.” 

It didn’t take long and the BBQ was in full swing. Arthur let himself be dragged about, listened to a story about a skinned knee, congratulated on an A in an essay, looked at a drawing project and watched the kids run about. He laughed out loud when Gwaine shoved his new prosthesis into his hands and ran off after the other kids. 

Percy came over and rolled his eyes. “I doubt he’ll ever get used to it.”

Arthur still laughed. “Maybe he thought I needed a hand?” 

The other man joined him in laughter. “Probably. With him, you never know!”

“I could actually need a hand. I hope it’s okay, but I have something for them.” Arthur pointed to his car.

“What is it?” Percy frowned slightly.

“Jerseys for the team, t-shirts for everyone else. I hope that’s okay?”

Percy was never one to not put the finger into the wound. “Buying their forgiveness?”

Ouch. “Not quite. Had them ordered before…you know.” He shrugged.

“Okay, then.” Percy smiled. “Let’s get them.”

He helped to carry the large boxes from the car to the BBQ area. Or rather, he carried them on his own while Arthur followed. “Kids, Arthur’s got something for you.”

In an instant, everyone gathered around them and Arthur just handed out the jerseys to his team since they were personalized. And then opened the box with the t-shirts for everyone else. He thought they might like them, but he wasn’t prepared for the cries of joy and the excited babbling and the tugging at the leg of his jeans and the “Arthur, Arthur!” from all around. 

He smiled widely when Sophia told him she’d never ever take the jersey off again and when Gwendolyn climbed onto a bench to put a big wet smooch on his cheek. 

When the commotion died down a bit and everybody went back to what they were doing before, Arthur saw Leon sitting on a bench under a tree, holding the jersey in his little hands, looking at it. He went over and sat down next to the boy. “Don’t you like it?”

Leon looked up at him, his eyes shining. “I love it.”

“Then why don’t you wear it like your team mates?”

The boy gently slid his little hand over the material. “It’s too precious. When I wear it, it might get dirty or ripped.” 

“You know, those jerseys are pretty sturdy. Stains can be washed out and if it ever gets ripped, we’ll get you a new one, okay?” He took it from Leon’s hands and helped him put it on. “There you go.”

Leon got up, still feeling the fabric. “Nobody ever gave me something like this. Thank you.”

And before he could blink, Leon had wrapped his little arms around him and hugged him briefly, as if hugging was something he wasn’t used to, before he turned and ran over to where his friends played. 

Arthur smiled as he looked after him and didn’t notice that someone had stepped up to the bench. 

“Hey.”

The gentle sound of a familiar voice startled Arthur and he looked up. “Hey.” Damn, of course he knew he’d run into Merlin here, but he still hadn’t been prepared for it. 

“That was very nice of you.”

Arthur just shrugged. He didn’t know what to say. 

Merlin just sat down next to him. “You know…”

His fingers itched to reach over, but Arthur didn’t move. Merlin had made it clear that he didn’t want it.

“I’m sorry for walking out on you like that. I should have told you before.”

“You said you would leave one day.”

“I didn’t want it to end like that. I… I’m sorry. I…Was losing my professional distance, Arthur.”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while. “What do you mean by that?”

Merlin sighed. “I stayed too long because… I guess I liked the situation too much. Living with you, coming back in the evenings, it felt like home. I…”

“But you’re not into blokes.” Arthur huffed. “You made it clear that you’re not interested.”

“You don’t listen.” Merlin laughed bitterly. “I am into blokes. I’m into you. Too much. I had to leave before I acted upon it.”

“You…” Arthur turned his head and looked at Merlin. He was into blokes? Into him? Did that mean Merlin liked him, too? 

Merlin nodded. “Yeah… Stupid of a healer to fall for his patient, isn’t it? Especially when you know he’s not ready for something like this.”

Arthur’s head was spinning. Merlin liked him! But why did he still keep this distance? “I am ready for this.”

“No, Arthur. You still have some part of the way ahead of you. And until then, you shouldn’t rush into anything with anyone.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” Arthur had his eyes fixed on the kids playing with a ball, but he didn’t really see them.

Merlin took a deep breath. “You’ve come so far, Arthur. You can live without crutches, I’ve told you before. Don’t stop now. Don’t think you need someone for the wrong reasons. “

“I don’t like you for the wrong reasons. I like you for you.” Arthur didn’t know how to phrase it better, to make Merlin see. And he was still hurt that he’d just walked out on him like that, even though he understood the reasons now, kind of. 

Before he could say anything more, Sophia appeared, dragged Merlin away and he was left alone on the bench, in the shade, under the tree. What had Merlin meant by saying that he could live without crutches? He already did. He’d stopped drinking and he didn’t take drugs any more. Maybe the cane? But he still needed that to support him while he walked. He sat there, thinking, until Gwaine and Gwen came over to inform him that dinner was ready. 

For the rest of the day, Arthur just glanced at Merlin when he thought he wasn’t looking. And sometimes caught Merlin looking at him. But they didn’t talk and usually they both were busy with drawing with the children or helping them prepare for the contests Percy had worked out. 

Later, Arthur helped tucking the smaller ones in. Sophia couldn’t be convinced to take the jersey off, so they just let her sleep in it. Leon had neatly hung his jersey up so he could look at it when he woke up in the night. 

When he came back outside, the older kids already cleaned up the place and when Percy assured him that there was nothing left to do, he went over to his car to leave.


	14. Chapter 14

He just started the engine when a head appeared at the side window.

Merlin. 

“Would you mind giving a poor healer a ride? Seems like my car has decided to break down just now.”

Of course he could do that. It was not like they exactly hated each other, right? They could still be friends until Arthur figured out that living-without-crutches-thing or Merlin got over it, right? So he just nodded and Merlin got into the car. 

Merlin gave him his address and Arthur drove. They talked about the children and Merlin beamed when Arthur talked about going back to coaching them from the following week on. And all too soon, they were in front of Merlin’s house. 

Arthur had been aware of how close Merlin was all during the drive. And he didn’t want it to end. So he stopped the engine and turned in his seat. “So…”

The look on Merlin’s face did funny things to Arthur’s insides. Did it mean that Merlin didn’t want the evening to end yet either? Before Arthur could figure anything out, Merlin leaned over and kissed him softly. “Thanks for bringing me home.”

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat. For weeks he’d dreamed of this moment, when Merlin would kiss him. And then it was over before he really realized that it happened! 

Merlin was about to turn to get out of the car.

“Merlin?”

“Yes, Arthur?”

When he turned back, Arthur reached over and pulled the other man in for a kiss. A real kiss. It was a bit awkward, the angle wrong, too much teeth and noses crushing into each other, but it was the best kiss Arthur had ever gotten. And then Merlin kissed him back. All lips and tongue and hands on his face and Arthur breathed faster, completely lost in the sensation of kissing another person after years and years. 

When they broke for air, their foreheads touching, their hands still in the other’s neck, Merlin whispered “We shouldn’t do this.”

“Why not, Merlin?” Arthur inquired. “We’re both adults, we know what we want and,” he gave a shaky little laugh, “it seems as if you wanted this as much as I do.” 

Merlin opened his eyes. Those blue blue eyes that haunted Arthur’s dreams. “What a douchebag would I be if I shoved you away again? I couldn’t, even if I wanted. Let’s go.”

Arthur didn’t have eyes for his surroundings, he couldn’t care less what Merlin’s place looked like. He just looked at Merlin, at his blue eyes, his wonderful lips, if he had a chance to look at all since most of the time on their way up and inside, Merlin kissed him dizzy. There was no time for gentle exploring, they just wanted each other. 

In Merlin’s bedroom, their clothes vanished and Arthur couldn’t remember taking them off. But it didn’t matter, he fell back onto the bed and watched Merlin fumble around. He reached for his rock-hard dick and stroked it a couple of times, but then Merlin was back on the bed and swatted his hand away. 

Arthur moaned. “Hurry up!” He closed his eyes when he felt Merlin’s hands on him, fingers already slippery with lube. His hips hitched up and he spread his legs. “Come on, man. Fuck me.” When he felt those long fingers teasing his ring of muscles, he gritted his teeth. Fuck, he wanted this so badly, had fantasized about it for so long, that he was already very close. 

He panted hard as Merlin opened him up. It’d been a long time since he last felt anything remotely like that. It was almost like he did this for the first time, it was exciting and new. When Merlin pumped three fingers into him, he drew his knees to his chest to open up wider. Arthur was close to begging, it was already almost too much. 

But then Merlin withdrew his fingers and Arthur heard the wrapper of the condom being opened and shivered. He held his breath when he felt Merlin carefully shoving into him. 

“Relax… Breathe, Arthur, breathe.” Merlin sounded very breathless himself. 

His dick seemed to take forever until it was fully in and the stretch burned, but Arthur made an impatient little sound. He wanted the burn, the stretch, the slight pain that came with it. He wanted Merlin and he wanted him now, all of him. “Come on!”

Merlin stilled for a moment and Arthur clenched around him, feeling the whole length in him. And then Merlin started to pound into him with short, hard moves that made Arthur’s breath speed up again. There was nothing gentle or tender but it still was the best thing Arthur had ever experienced. “Just a bit…” 

Changing the angle a tiny bit, Merlin pounded into Arthur’s spot and reduced Arthur to incoherent murmurs before he cried out as he came harder than he could remember. As he clamped around Merlin, he felt him pulsing inside as Merlin came, too. 

Arthur lowered his legs, wrapping one around one of Merlin’s, to keep him from slipping out. He enjoyed the feeling of having Merlin inside him, even though he lost his rigidity fast. 

Merlin lay on him, panting into his neck and it was the best thing ever. “Damn, that was…”

“Yeah… Exactly that….” Arthur closed his eyes, making a disappointed sound as Merlin finally pulled out and rolled off of him. He couldn’t care less that his own come dried on his belly and that he was so sore that he would feel it for a few days. He’d never felt better in all of his life!

Arthur dozed off and didn’t notice that Merlin watched him, a strange look on his face.

When they both woke up in the middle of the night, they shared gentle kisses, the urgency from before gone. Arthur shivered when their lips touched. He licked at Merlin’s lips and when they parted, he slipped his tongue inside, exploring Merlin’s mouth, learning the texture and taste. His hands wandered over Merlin’s skin and he sighed into the kiss. 

He felt himself getting hard again and tried shove Merlin onto his back. But the other man didn’t have any of that and in no time, it was Arthur who was on his back again, feeling slender fingers stroke his length, touching all the right places with the right amount of pressure that left him moaning into their kisses. If Merlin wanted to be in charge, it was okay for Arthur. He knew some guys didn’t switch and couldn’t care less, as long as he could have Merlin. 

But then Merlin rolled a condom down Arthur’s cock and generously applied lube to it. All Arthur could do was to stare open-mouthed as Merlin straddled him. Merlin reached back and, his eyes closed, his teeth worrying his lower lip, he grabbed Arthur’s dick and slowly slid down on it, a low moan escaping him. It was the most erotic thing Arthur had ever seen and he had to hold his breath to not buck up right away. 

He ran a hand up Merlin’s thigh. “Merlin.” Just a hoarse whisper. 

When Merlin opened his eyes, Arthur thought for a short moment that they’d flashed golden, but that was probably just the light coming from a little lamp at the side of the room. And then the hungry look in Merlin’s eyes made it impossible to think at all as he started to move on Arthur. “Fuck.” 

That Merlin kept the rhythm slow, almost lazy, drove Arthur nuts. He tried to push up, but it was as if Merlin held him down somehow. He seemed to be heavier than he looked. 

Arthur’s hands slid up Merlin’s torso, feeling the muscles move under heated skin, finding Merlin’s nipples and caressing them. After a while he grinned when he noticed that each time he tweaked and twisted them a bit, Merlin’s arse around him clenched. “Oh yeah.”

“Touch me, Arthur.” Merlin watched Arthur’s hands and wiggled impatiently when they rested on his hips. 

And then Arthur wrapped his fingers around Merlin’s hot length, hearing Merlin’s breath hitch. He slid them lightly over the hot skin and stopped just underneath the head. With his thumb, he teased the slit and loved that it leaked just a bit more. He looked up again and saw that Merlin was still watching his hand and moved on his cock while he tried to shove into his fist. He leaned back, his hands supporting his weight on Arthur’s legs and his head rolled back as he moaned loudly at the change of angle. 

“Merlin, I…” Seeing Merlin like that was too much. Arthur needed to do something, he needed to shove up further into Merlin’s body, he needed to move. 

A little smile tugged at the corners of Merlin’s lips and he moved a bit faster, still taking his sweet time, savouring every moment. 

Arthur grabbed Merlin’s cock a bit harder and his hand flew up and down the shaft that was now almost of an angry red, pulsing underneath his fingers. He knew they both wouldn’t last much longer and yet it surprised him when Merlin yelled out and came, his name on his lips, tightening so hard around him that little white stars danced into Arthur’s vision as he reached his climax, too. 

Merlin slumped onto him and they just lay for a while, panting, totally spent and blissed out. Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin and kissed him gently. He wouldn’t let go any time soon, he was sure of that.

 

They didn’t leave the bed all Sunday long and made love or simply fucked whenever they felt like it.


	15. Chapter 15

When Arthur woke up on Monday, he found the other side of the bed empty. He looked around. Had Merlin changed his mind? Arthur frowned. Why hadn’t he just told him that this was just a one-time thing? He climbed out of bed, cursing because he’d forgotten his cane in the car on Saturday, and limped to bathroom. He could at least take a shower before he left, couldn’t he? As the hot water ran over him, Arthur sighed. He’d thought that they were finally on the same page, that Merlin liked him, too, and wanted more than just a weekend. Obviously he had been wrong. 

As he limped to the living room in search of his shirt, he found it neatly folded on the back of the couch. There was a huge note on it. 

_Arthur,  
sorry, had to leave for an early appointment.   
Breakfast is in the kitchen, feel at home.   
I’ll call you tonight.  
Merlin_

Early appointment. Okay, that could mean anything from ‘Merlin had an early appointment’ to ‘Merlin couldn’t get out of here soon enough and won’t call at all’. 

After putting his shirt on, Arthur looked around for the first time. This living room didn’t look at all like his, which was all white carpet, black leather couch and lots of chrome and glass. Merlin’s living room was cramped with stuff. A huge bookshelf was stacked with magazines, books and folders. There were comforters on the old couch that looked as if they were hand-made. Everything was in warm colors and wood and looked lived-in. Arthur didn’t want to be too nosy, it felt like intruding now that Merlin wasn’t here, but he wouldn’t have left him here if it wasn’t okay to look at things, would he? 

On his way to the kitchen, a collection of photos – all framed in different frames – caught Arthur’s eye and he stopped to look at them. There was a photo of a woman who seemed to look at him and smile warmly. Probably Merlin’s mother? He looked around but couldn’t find a photo of a man the right age that could be Merlin’s father. There were photos of people Merlin’s age and a few that seemed to be taken on Merlin’s trip around the world, when he was learning this healing-business. And one photo that especially caught his attention. Merlin with his arms wrapped around a beautiful girl with dark skin and black curls. He knew he had no right to, but he couldn’t help but be jealous, whoever she was. 

He turned abruptly and limped over to the kitchen. His knee really hurt this morning! 

Arthur found some coffee waiting for him and everything ready to make the breakfast he liked, but he didn’t feel hungry. So he just drank a cup of coffee, put everything back into the fridge and left. He needed to give this knee some rest and then had to prepare the practice for the kids for the next day. 

At least he tried. But all he did was sit down and put his leg up, only to get up again a few minutes later, wandering through his house that felt empty. He pondered texting Merlin, but no, he wouldn’t do that. This was the second time the man had walked out on him, he wouldn’t run after him. Which he couldn’t do anyway, his damn knee acted up pretty badly. 

Late in the afternoon, his mobile rang and he immediately answered. “Yeah?”

“Hey Arthur, Merlin here.”

“Hi.” 

“Sorry that I had to leave so early, I’d totally forgotten about that appointment. And you didn’t wake up when I got up, so I figured I’d just let you sleep. Did you find the breakfast?”

Arthur smiled and almost sighed in relief. This didn’t sound as if Merlin tried to dump him. “Yeah. I just wasn’t hungry. Thanks for the coffee, though. “

“Where are you? Still at my place?”

“Err… No, I went home. I didn’t know how long you’d take, so…” 

“Oh… Okay, good. It might take a bit longer here today. I’d… Actually I’d planned to buy you dinner tonight, but that might have to wait another day or two. Is that okay?”

Arthur chuckled. “Since I didn’t know you wanted to treat me to dinner tonight, it doesn’t screw my plans. Some other time is okay, too.”

Merlin laughed. “Good, good! Listen, I have to go, another patient is waiting.”

“Yeah… Okay. See you.”

“See you, Arthur.”

“Merlin?”

“Yeah?”

“Send me a text when you get home?”

“Sure.”

Arthur smiled for the rest of the day. So Merlin did indeed have an appointment and was busy, but he wanted to see him again. 

 

He was in a good mood when he parked his car at the children’s home. Merlin had texted him the night before and they’d talked on the phone until Merlin had yawned loudly. He took his cane and made his way inside where the kids greeted him as if he’d never been away and ran out to the soccer field. Arthur talked to Percy for a moment before he followed. 

It was the usual chaotic practice, but Arthur smiled. He had missed this. As much as he disliked the whole idea in the beginning , he loved doing it now. He loved the children and didn’t want to miss the stories they were telling him, the pictures they drew and their efforts in school. Which didn’t matter too much today since summer had begun and they all had fun. 

“You know what?” When they were done and sat under a tree in the shade, having some lemonade, Sophia looked up at Arthur.

“What is it, Sophia?” He bit back a grin. Usually when the little girl looked at him like that, she announced something or other that was either rather obvious or totally out of the way. 

“For the first time since you came here, you look happy.” 

Arthur looked at her, baffled. She was how old? Six? And it was so obvious to her that he was happy today? He smiled and ruffled her hair. “That’s because I am.”

She eyed him. “And why’s Merlin not here today?”

Wow, those kids picked up on more than he’d thought. “He had to work today.” 

That answer seemed to satisfy her and she sipped her lemonade and then talked about the butterflies she’s seen in the garden that morning.


	16. Chapter 16

A few weeks later, Arthur was excited. For the first time, his team would play against other kids. They were from another division of the organization that founded the home. Yes, he just wanted all of them to have fun. But the soccer player in him wanted them to win! They’d worked really hard in the past weeks and he knew they all would give their best. 

Merlin had promised to come later and Arthur wanted to share a victory with him. They were basically inseparable since the summer feast and either spent their nights at Arthur’s house or at Merlin’s apartment, whichever was closer to where they had dinner or watched a movie. In those weeks, Arthur had discovered a whole new side of Merlin. He knew the calm listener, the person who looked at a situation from the outside and never judged, but gave advice on the options that were there. But he had a fun side, too. He couldn’t stop babbling when he was excited about something and he could be a tease, too, mocking everything and everyone when he was in the mood, always a twinkle in his eyes. He was playful and funny and always there for his friends. One of them the beauty that he hugged on that photo, his friend Gwen who had moved to Australia with her husband. And for all of those reasons, Arthur fell in love with him even more. And then, one night, he just blurted that out. He’d never been good with words and he hadn’t planned to, but he just said it. I love you. And Merlin had kissed him and given him the best blowjob he’d ever experienced. 

So now he was giving a pep talk to his team, telling them to give their best and everything would be fine. And yes, he would love if they won, but first and foremost they should go out and have fun. 

Damn, the kids from the other team all were older and most of them were taller than his team. And they knew a thing or two about soccer. They weren’t there to have fun. They wanted to win. Oh well, he just hoped that the ref would have a close eye on that situation.

By half-time the other team was leading with 12:2. So he gave another pep-talk, tended to skinned knees and dried tears. 

But it didn’t get better. And then this boy, he was already a teenager, missed the ball, kicked at Leon’s leg and Leon went down, howling in pain. Arthur, who had paced the side-line all the time, sprinted across the field, made his way through the kids who had gathered around Leon and knelt down next to him. “I’m here, Leon. It’ll be okay. What’s hurting?”

“My knee,” Leon sobbed out. 

Arthur only knew the basics of first aid, but at least the leg didn’t look broken. “It will be better soon.” He gathered Leon up in his arms and carried him off the field. 

Percy already approached them. “What happened?”

“A bad foul, that’s what happened. Get Merlin!”

Arthur brought Leon over in the shade and laid him down gently. The boy was crying and clung to his hand. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you alone.”

Merlin had just arrived in time to see the foul happening. He rushed over to where the crowd started to gather around Leon and Arthur again. 

Arthur didn’t even notice. He was busy stroking the boy’s wild curls and telling him that everything would be okay. When Merlin kneeled next to him and tended to Leon right away, Arthur sighed in relief. At least he didn’t have the feeling of lying to the boy any more. 

He watched Merlin work. Of course he’d seen him tend to his knee and back and whatever else, but he never really watched him. The way he examined the boy’s leg and the way he put his hands on the little knobbly knee was so gentle and tender that he wanted to kiss Merlin for it. And then he thought he saw his eyes shimmer golden again as he concentrated. But that was probably only the sunlight that fell through the leaves of the tree. 

Leon stopped crying and just looked at them when Merlin sat back. 

“A little trip to the hospital and you’ll be as good as new,” he told the boy. 

“I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

Arthur nodded. The boy most likely had bad memories of hospitals after what his father did to him. He leaned down and whispered. “I don’t like them either,” and winked. 

Leon gave him a shy smile, before he went into stubborn-mode. “I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

He still argued when the paramedics arrived to take him along. It broke Arthur’s heart when he started crying again and clung to his hand. “I can’t come with you in the ambulance, Leon. But I’ll be at the hospital, I promise!”

Arthur gave Leon an encouraging nod when the doors of the ambulance closed and they took the boy away. He turned to Merlin, who had a strange look on his face. “I have to talk to my team before I leave.”

“Before we leave.”

Arthur rushed back to where the members of his team and the ones of the other team sat and stood, shocked looks on their faces. Sophia and Gwen just looked at him with large sad eyes and little Gwaine tried hard not to cry. 

So he gave them a little speech that fouls shouldn’t happen in sports but sometimes they did and that this hadn’t happened on purpose – he looked at the boy who’d kicked Leon but he looked devastated, he really had gone for the ball. Leon would be okay and back with them in no time and he would call from the hospital to let them know how he was doing. 

Percy stepped up beside him. “I’ll take over from here. When Gaius and Miranda are here, I’ll follow.”

Arthur gave the kids a smile that he hoped was reassuring and quickly walked back to the parking lot. 

Just as he opened the car for Merlin and him to get in, he heard Sophia’s voice. “Arthur!”

He turned and saw her dragging his cane after her. 

“You forgot this! You need this!” She was all out of breath when she reached him.

Arthur looked at her and at the cane. He hadn’t even noticed when he’d dropped it and ran across the field when Leon got injured. He hadn’t needed it when he went back to talk to his team. And he hadn’t needed it to walk back here. Merlin had been right, he didn’t need this. It was a crutch, something to cling to so he didn’t have to let go of his former life. But that was over now. Once and for all. Now he had someone to love, he had something useful to do and could do it on his own, without support from a cane. 

He smiled down at the girl. “Thanks, Sophia. But no, I don’t need this anymore. Why don’t we just toss it out?”

She nodded and carried the cane that he had leaned on for years over to the trash bins. She shoved it in and then turned and yelled “Tell Leon I said hi!” before she ran off again. 

Arthur looked after her for a moment and when he turned he almost bumped into Merlin who had watched the scene leaned at the car. 

“What?”

Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur’s middle and kissed him softly. “Love you, too.”

Arthur beamed and kissed Merlin again. “Let’s go to the hospital.”

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Homophobia, Hate crime


End file.
